2003-09-18, 1:28 a.m.

i just got done reading this book called O Pioneers! by Willa Cather and i really enjoyed it. my goal for this semester is to read everything that is assigned to me. (i know, good plan) but the story kind of lingered for awhile. it started kind of slow but ended up being kind of romantic, and that is the shit i live for in stories. i fucking LOVE the romantic parts of stories. in fact, i'll read the romantic parts like 3 or 4 times over throughout the rest of the book. thats what i did in grass dancers, i always read the part where harley stays with pumpkin in the house. that is my favorite part, like favorite parts of songs, i guess i have a favorite part of books. if they aren't just a little bit romantic, like not even an ounce of romance, then i sometimes think of it as a waste of reading. but there's always romance usually, if not romance than romaticism which is close enough as far as capturing me, as the reader, is concerned.

anyways the point of talking about reading it was what happened in this book. so these two people love eachother - one is a swede, one is a bohemian. and the bohemian is married to a really fucked up guy who is miserable in life and is pissed off because his wife is not pissed off about life. she's really good-natured. anyways they have this unspoken thing for eachother. they've never admitted to eachother that they care about eachother, but it's just always there - you know one of those. so anyways emil (the boy) leaves nebraska and marie (the girl) behind and goes to mexico to explore and decide what he wants out of life. so he just hangs out in mexico for a year and barely keeps in contact with anyone from nebraska. but he comes back to nebraska after the year and sees marie and he still feels the same way. the distance didn't make it change, and all he talked about was how he wished she could see everything that he saw while he was in mexico. she was always on his mind throughout his whole time in mexico. you know what i mean? its just so funny that you can spend so much time somewhere else and with so many different people, but you always are thinking about that one person. it was a great read, though for sure. romance is on my mind lately. it's because it's fall and that is my romantic season. isn't there always one season that is a romantic season for people? i think there is - whether it be spring or summer or winter (for freaks) or fall, mine is definitely fall. after christmas, i'm pretty much out of the romantic season. but until then it's definitely taking up space in my already cluttered mind.

speaking of naropa, my favorite prof wrote me a letter of recommendation. as far as i know it is sealed. i'm not sure if it is or not because he left it in my drawer at my desk in the IEC. but doesn't that suck that they are sealed? i want to read it SO BAD! of COURSE I DO! i want to know what someone i admire thinks about me! man i really want to read it i hope its not sealed, but i'm sure it is! anyways, i've been working on my portfolio like mad the past few days for naropa. i have to write two things for it though - like a statement of interest AND authors and work that has inspired me.

cat stevens is good shit. i have to go to sleep now, sweet dreams world.